(no subject)

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last night we watched grey gardens.
it was really difficult for me to sit through.
at one point i started feeling that crazy panicky heartbeat feeling.
it reminded me so much of living with my mother in my grandmother's house.
except with really good southern cooking and dedicated housekeeping.
it was more the emotional dynamic.

(shudder)

so russell and i talked for a while until i started to feel better.
i have alot to work through but all things considered i could be much more of a mess.
i'm so glad i'm able to embrace some of the good from back then.
mostly the food and the physical environment but there's more too.
it's hard to get to it but it's there.

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today i brushed it off with yardmowing and sweeping and clotheswashing and cooking.
it felt good to nuture myself and us and our house.


i made pickled cucumbers and onions and tomatoes
just for the fridge though i cheated on the canning.
mmm tasty instant gratification.

i also made fried chicken.
and buttermilk mashed potatoes.
and zucchini.

i may make some cookies later if i don't fall aleep first.

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pickled onions and cucumbers and tomatoes


1. thinly slice half a red onion, soak in water for a couple of hours or overnight
thinly slice 2 cucumbers and 2 nice tomatoes, set aside in seperate bowls

2. combine 1/2 cup apple cider vinegar, 1/2 cup red wine vinegar and 4 tablespoons sugar
add 1 bay leaf, a bit of mustard seed, celery seed, black peppercorns, red pepper flakes
add some fresh or dried dill and basil

3. bring vinegar mixture to a simmer over medium heat

4. pour or strain over combined onions and cucumbers
reserve some liquid to cool and pour over tomatoes

5. serve or store in fridge for a week or so, maybe two
the tomatoes maybe not that long

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